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Ladies and Gentlemen... Toyzine is honoured beyond measure to have acquired the services of the World's most celebrated toy trader. By Appointment 'Seeker of Playthings' to Her Majesty's Government, principal consultant to the much esteemed British Big Boy's Toy Museum in London, and without a doubt the last of the Great Colonial Warriors, we are privileged to present to you...


Sir Chase Adventure

   

chase adventure toy detective

Sir Chase's Dating tips for toy collectors, and all others' real world challenged`

At ease, troops!

Tip number 1:
Try to feign an interest in World affairs... this cannot fail to impress your date. Of course, try to avoid statements like 'Wow, George Bush sure is a powerful statesman... I wonder what he collects?'

Tip number 2:
Without fail, ALWAYS count to ten when your date says 'If this stuff is worth so much, why dont you sell it?'...ONE-tootsietoy TWO-tootsietoy THREE-tootsietoy...

Tip number 3:
Try not to let on to your prospective spouse that you`ve asked a friend to watch your collection while you're out. But if you do let it slip, DO NOT refer to them as 'the babysitter'.

Tip number 4:
Do NOT do your Charlie Weaver Bartender impression in the restaurant, no matter HOW good it is!

Tip number 5:
Never refer to your collection as 'the kids' ...not even your bally favorites!

Tip number 6:
Places NOT to go on a first date - Toys'R'Us closeout sale; 'Toy Story' 1 & 2 double bill; the local yard sales... all of these should be reserved until AT LEAST the second date, eh what?

Tip number 7:
When the magic starts to happen, a well-placed compliment can never fail you. Of course, praise like 'Gee honey, you remind me of Barbie's best friend Midge!' may result in a quick end to the evening's bliss.


A pen and ink Xmas message from Sir Chase Adventure - Toy Hunter to the Stars... click here for more...


At ease, troops!

At ease, troops! I say, those bally Toyzine fellows surely wax on a bit, eh what? A chap just tries to do his job, and they act like he's the Prince of bloody Persia! Just a matter of the right place at the right time, don't you know... but enough of all that for now. I extend my warmest welcome to you all, and hope to enliven your collected spirits with my cyber-japes and spritely-jaunts! So, without further ado, on with the show!


The Adventure Adviser:
The Only Option in Steam-Driven Conundrum Computation
Don't delay!
Write today! Answers but a click away!
Try the Patented and Fully Automated Adventure Adviser!

Conceived, designed and constructed by Sir Chase Adventure

Be it the simple identification of an action figure accessory, or heartfelt advice for the playworn and lovelorn, you too can have your toy dilemma solved by the Adventure Adviser.

What others have said about the Mechanical Metaphysical Marvel:

"Without the Adventure Adviser, our Space Program would be in a shambles... not to mention my GI Joe collection." - B. Aldrin, test pilot

"My marriage may be over, but thanks to Sir Chase's invention, I have found solace with a new toy." - T. Cruise, entertainer

"If only I'd asked the Adventure Adviser!" - J. Levitt, rag-and-bone merchant

So why wait? Click here to submit your question to the World's Greatest Pneumatic Problem Solver... The Adventure Adviser! >> click here to Contact Us

 


Our Latest Crises Averted:

Mechanical mammal fancier Tara writes:

Dear Sir Chase,
Do you remember Petster the electronic cat??? I think it came out in 1985 or 1986. If you can find one or know where i can find one please let me know asap. I have been looking for one forever!!!!! Thanks!!!

Sir Chase advises:
My dear Tara, as soon as I fed your feline facts into the eager enquiring engine that is the 'Automated Adventure Adviser'
, it began to produce a sensuous, soothing sound that can only be described as... purring! All alliteration aside, I have my own fond memories of Petster the Electronic Cat... I can still recall Christmas morning, 1985... the glowing faces of Chase major and Chase minor (the fruit of my bally loins), as they eagerly tore at their polka-dot papered gifts, and found... a matching pair of Petsters! They had actually asked Santa Adventure for a life-size, working Death Star (little scallywags!), but after being coddled and cajoled by the microprocessed purring of their very own electronic cats, all dreams of Universal Conquest were forgotten.

As to your own acquisition of a specimen of Axlon Corporation's voice-activated furry feline Petster, my advice is to place a FREE Toyzine Wanted Classified by clicking here and regularly scour the massive archive of Ebay's online auctions. With a little bally luck, you should expect to pay $25 to $35 for a mint boxed specimen.

Farewell until next time, troops!
Sir Chase.


Canine coveter Melanie writes:
Dear Sir Chase, I'm looking for a talking plush dog that was sold in the late 70's and early 80's, I believe the name was Hug-Me? It was a brown dog that talked when you squeezed it's stomach. I haven't been able to find one anywhere, and I'm not sure I have the correct name. Any help would be appreciated.

Sir Chase advises:
What-Ho, Melanie, the Patented Adventure Adviser computes that the cuddly chum you seek from the Eighties is Snapper the Talking Dog, and that 'Hug-Me' may well be the maker's name, eh what? Yet your plush puppy poser is not my debut dalliance with this digital doggie dilemma! Last year, it was my sworn duty to cure Charles Grodin, the well-known thespian, of his acquired psychological phobia to all things woof-woof... seems that after appearing in one too many sequels to his celluloid-caper 'Beethoven', he'd quiver and drool on sight of any, be it Saint Bernard or sausage dog! As ever, the Adventure Adviser mechanically marched to the rescue. Upon presentation with your plush pal Snapper, canine-coy Charlie was still quivering... but this time with delight! All fears were forgotten, don't you know, as Man and Dog re-established their eons-old equilibrium!

As to your own acquisition of a specimen of the therapeutic Snapper, my advice is to place a FREE Toyzine Wanted Classified by clicking here. Also, regularly scouring Toyzine's For Sale section, if you desire, also the massive archive of Ebay's online auctions will never go astray. With a little bally luck, you should expect to pay $15 to $25 for a mint boxed specimen.

Felicitations!
Sir Chase Adventure


Plush toy palaeontologist Fran wrote:
Please, please, if you know where I can purchase the stuffed animals of the characters from Land Before Time I would be so grateful. My daughter is pregnant and soon to give birth. My two-year-old grandson eats, sleeps and dreams Land Before Time. I would love to have them so when people bring gifts for the new baby I can give him his favorite characters. Hope you understand.

Sir Chase advises:
'The Land Before Time' you say, eh Fran? A primeval wilderness, beyond the imagination of humankind? Sounds to me like the Adventure Mansion after last New Year's Eve! A few tin toys were over-wound THAT night, let me tell you! But back to the crisis at hand... pardon an old adventurer for wandering, eh what? After digesting your heart felt request, a tiny, rusty tear formed in the corner of the Patented Adventure Adviser's pale blue dial... the silly old blighter has a bally weakness for toy-toting toddlers in trouble! To make your grandson's day, we both suggest you visit the Land Before Time page http://www.efn.org /~ jabrams/ landb4.htm#top at Collectors Connection.com, where a few prehistoric plush poppets can be purchased. Otherwise, my advice is to place a FREE Toyzine Wanted Classified by clicking here. Also, regularly scouring Toyzine's For Sale section will never go astray.

Farewell until next time, troops!
Sir Chase.


Dear Sir Chase
I have been looking locally for some original metal jacks used when I was a child. The only jacks available in stores today are plastic. Can you direct me as to where I can find several packs of these? I would appreciate any help or direction you may provide. I am 52 years of age and am looking to purchase some for nieces.

Time for a history lesson, troops!
As strange as it may seem, this time-honored pastime began in the heady, heady days of the 1700's, and yes, you've guessed it, my bally family was mixed up in it! The creators of chaos in the cavernous castle that was the Bavarian keep of Baron Klaus Uttenbencher (my great-great-great grandfather, don't you know) were little Hans and Fritz Uttenbencher (occasionally referred to in the literature as 'Katzenjammer'). These tiny Teutonic terrors caused no end of trouble for their father's manservant, the unfortunate Frenchman Jacques Merde. On this particular day, they had covered the floor of the main hallway with their entire collection of glass catseyes, and were laying in wait for Monsieur Merde. Time passed... CRASH! BOOM! KERTHUMP! And there lay their pater, Baron Klaus... jolly bad luck for the Uttenbencher lads, eh what? Predictably, my ancestor was angst-ridden. "HANS! FRITZ! VERE DITT ALL DIS CHUNK COMM FROM???", he cried. "Dot's eesy, Papa!", beamed Hans. "Dese are Jaques'!" Guess who had to pick them all up? Well, the name stuck, and 'Jacques' entered into the vernacular. Be that as it may, the Patented Adventure Adviser suggests to acquire your own set, you place a FREE Toyzine Wanted Classified by clicking here
Also, regularly scouring Toyzine's For Sale section will never go astray. With a little bally luck, you should expect to pay $10 to $15 for a nice vintage set.

Until next time, troops!
Sir Chase.


Dear Sir Chase

I have a Charlie Weaver mechanical Bartender toy. It is in the box. The box is in poor condition but the toy is in great shape. It does work. Is it worth anything?
Thanks, Joe

Sir Chase advises:
Dearest Joe!
I have been waiting with the patience of a clockwork Gandhi for one of our dear readers to re-introduce the cyber-world to the Mystery and Majesty that is Rosko's Charlie Weaver Bartender. So much life and so little couth! I recall an early expedition (captained by Yours Truly) into deepest, darkest Brooklyn, whereupon my good companions and I encountered the rarely seen 'Weaver-Believer' tribe.

This fascinating group, the descendants of ancient Irish publicans, firmly believed that Rosko's tinplate Bartenders were the sacred receptacles for the souls of all departed soaks, or, if you will, an abstract Alcoholic's Graveyard. The exact location of this tribe was lost to us, along with numerous brain cells, after we partook of the 'Night of 1000 Toasts' ritual... how we all awoke in a Bronx holding cell the next day, I'll never bally know! Blessed Mr Weaver is one of the most action-packed battery toys ever made by those brilliant bloody Japanese in their 1960s heyday... and this may explain why there are so bally MANY of him still scattered around the world. Your toy, with its original war-wounded box, would be valued at $100-150.

Farewell until next time, troops!
Sir Chase


chase adventure toy detective

Sir Chase Adventure - Toy Detective presents THE ADVENTURE ADVISER ALMANAC!

A Toy collector's treatise of TIPS to aid your achievements... As a regular feature we'll supply you with the hard-nosed tips and hints supplied by some of the galaxy's most experienced toy hunters. We hope that these will help in your quest for that elusive find. If you have any tips and advice of your own, please email in >> click here to Contact Us

Adventure Tip #1: Beware the bowerbird! What I mean troops, is specialise! You don't have to buy every jolly old thing you see. Apart from being hard on the family fortune, you will soon run out of display space, and then the worst thing of all happens... the Brown Cardboard Box Syndrome! I am not ashamed to admit that I was diagnosed with the syndrome in my early, wilder days... Adventure Mansion was a psychotic maze of haphazardly stacked packing cartons near the end, and who could tell you what was in any of them... but that's now in the past. This is my advice: if you collect diecast, dolls or Disney, grab hold of a theme and don't let go! After much contemplation during my recovery at the 'Fleischmann Institute for the Mechanically Insane,' I decided to concentrate on pre-war German clockwork limousines, forsaking all else... well, almost all else. Troops, it doesn't hurt on occasion if that special 'just right' out-of-theme item waggles its hips in front of you. There is always an exception to every rule!

Adventure Tip #2:
Check that condition! I tell you troops, it was just magic that time I stumbled across an old country toyshop with all its original stock from the 1900's still on the shelves... and then I bally woke up! Since we can only dream about a perfectly pristine mint collection especially of older collectibles, we usually have to content ourselves with the less than immaculate. While it's most desirable to have perfectly mint items for some, the wait between capture of new specimens can be jolly excruciating... if you're like me troops, you're happy to settle for more world-weary specimens, so that your collection has a bit more scope in the expansion department. Whatever you decide on, remember that a collection of a few mint toys can be just as impressive as a larger, more 'pre-loved' gathering. And if you are only hunting for perfection, be prepared to be bally patient!

Adventure Tip #3:
Can wait, will wait! The tortoise always wins the race... unless that rabbit can learn to slow down! Don't expect your entire collection to form immediately before your eyes. If it were that easy troops, why would any of us continue? The thrill of the hunt, the endless research of dead end clues until we hit on that perfect scent, what would our hobby be without this joyful chase (I'm not referring to yours truly either.) By pacing your collection's growth, you can appreciate it more as a whole, and indeed even each individual piece. If all came at once, a jolly great deal of enjoyment of collecting would be lost.

Adventure Tip #4:
Troops who hesitate are lost! I love a bargain as much as the next chap... it's always a pleasure when that odd item you've looked for, like Stanley sought out Livingstone in darkest Africa, shows up just for you at the right price but be happy with that! Don't expect the owner to cut the price even further, as it may be your undoing.

Adventure Tip #5:
Chill out! Much as it behoves me to slip into modern dude hipster talk for my final sage advice, there's wisdom in those two bally words, troops. Above all, toy collecting should be jolly good fun, so don't get too serious about your hobby. And I mean serious "Oh no! Mr Toy-Boy has sold out of Fatman in the tuxedo outfit!" serious "Oh no! There's a chip the size of an ant's bottom on the underside of my pre-war dinky toy aircraft refueller!" and above all, serious "Oh no! My investment consultant says that the tin bus I just bought won't double in value over-night!" Just remember troops: you'll probably get another 'Fatman' in the tuxedo outfit at the Toyz'R'Rust just around the corner; you're bally lucky to own a pre-war refueller in any condition; and above all, if you can't see the toys for the dollar signs, you should jolly well sign off now. This is a fabulously fun hobby... relax, unwind and get out there and enjoy it.

Adventure Tip #6:
Hard Sell = Bad Smell! As uncouth as that may sound, dear reader, it is the unbridled truth. We've all seen this kind of ignominy before, eh what? Walking down the diecast aisle in Toys'R'Rust, and the packaging screaming out at you like a banshee from Satan's bally Stronghold: 'COLLECTOR'S ITEM!' 'LIMITED EDITION!' '24KT GOLD PLATED!' These shameless Sirens of Seduction are hard to resist... and don't the manufacturers know it. Ever since the 'Toy Collector' (that's you and me, troops) was discovered by the major players, the appearance of these accursed phrases has grown like a well-fertilized weed! 'COLLECTOR'S ITEM!': Guaranteed to collect dust, not value; '24KT GOLD PLATED!': Akin to some Hollywood starlets I have known - bally attractive, but no real substance; 'LIMITED EDITION!': Limited to as many as we can sell. Be it diecast cars, plastic action figures or tinplate wind-ups, there is one simple rule: If you like it, then buy it. Otherwise, avoid 'Collector's Items' as a potential investment. Don't fall for the hype, it's a load of bally tripe!


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