Try to feign an interest in World affairs... this cannot fail to
impress your date. Of course, try to avoid statements like 'Wow,
George Bush sure is a powerful statesman... I wonder what he collects?'
Without fail, ALWAYS count to ten when your date says 'If this stuff
is worth so much, why dont you sell it?'...ONE-tootsietoy TWO-tootsietoy
THREE-tootsietoy...
Try not to let on to your prospective spouse that you`ve asked a
friend to watch your collection while you're out. But if you do
let it slip, DO NOT refer to them as 'the babysitter'.
Do NOT do your Charlie Weaver Bartender impression in the restaurant,
no matter HOW good it is!
Never refer to your collection as 'the kids' ...not even your bally
favorites!
Places NOT to go on a first date - Toys'R'Us
closeout sale; 'Toy Story' 1 & 2 double bill; the local yard sales...
all of these should be reserved until AT LEAST the second date,
eh what?
When the magic starts to happen, a well-placed
compliment can never fail you. Of course, praise like 'Gee honey,
you remind me of Barbie's best friend Midge!' may result in a quick
end to the evening's bliss.
A
pen and ink Xmas message from Sir Chase Adventure - Toy Hunter
to the Stars
At
ease, troops! |
At
ease, troops! I say, those bally Toyzine fellows surely wax on a
bit, eh what? A chap just tries to do his job, and they act like
he's the Prince of bloody Persia! Just a matter of the right place
at the right time, don't you know... but enough of all that for
now. I extend my warmest welcome to you all, and hope to enliven
your collected spirits with my cyber-japes and spritely-jaunts!
So, without further ado, on with the show!
"My
marriage may be over, but thanks to Sir Chase's invention, I have
found solace with a new toy." - T. Cruise, entertainer
"If
only I'd asked the Adventure Adviser!" - J. Levitt, rag-and-bone
merchant
So
why wait? Click
here to submit your question to the World's Greatest Pneumatic Problem
Solver... The Adventure Adviser! >> click here to Contact Us
Do you remember Petster the electronic
cat??? I think it came out in 1985 or 1986. If you can find one
or know where i can find one please let me know asap. I have been
looking for one forever!!!!! Thanks!!!
My dear Tara, as soon as I fed your feline facts into the eager
enquiring engine that is the 'Automated Adventure Adviser',
it began to produce a sensuous, soothing sound that can only be
described as... purring! All alliteration aside, I have my own fond
memories of Petster the Electronic Cat... I can still recall Christmas
morning, 1985... the glowing faces of Chase major and Chase minor
(the fruit of my bally loins), as they eagerly tore at their polka-dot
papered gifts, and found... a matching pair of Petsters! They had
actually asked Santa Adventure for a life-size, working Death Star
(little scallywags!), but after being coddled and cajoled by the
microprocessed purring of their very own electronic cats, all dreams
of Universal Conquest were forgotten.
As to your own acquisition
of a specimen of Axlon Corporation's voice-activated furry feline
Petster, my advice is to place a FREE
Toyzine Wanted Classified by clicking here and regularly scour
the massive archive of Ebay's online auctions. With a little bally
luck, you should expect to pay $25 to $35 for a mint boxed specimen.
Farewell until next time, troops!
Sir Chase.
I have a Charlie Weaver mechanical Bartender toy.
It is in the box. The box is in poor condition but the toy is in
great shape. It does work. Is it worth anything?
Thanks, Joe
Dearest Joe!
I have been waiting with the patience of a clockwork Gandhi for
one of our dear readers to re-introduce the cyber-world to the Mystery
and Majesty that is Rosko's Charlie Weaver Bartender. So much life
and so little couth! I recall an early expedition (captained by
Yours Truly) into deepest, darkest Brooklyn, whereupon my good companions
and I encountered the rarely seen 'Weaver-Believer' tribe.
This fascinating group, the descendants of ancient
Irish publicans, firmly believed that Rosko's tinplate Bartenders
were the sacred receptacles for the souls of all departed soaks,
or, if you will, an abstract Alcoholic's Graveyard. The exact location
of this tribe was lost to us, along with numerous brain cells, after
we partook of the 'Night of 1000 Toasts' ritual... how we all awoke
in a Bronx holding cell the next day, I'll never bally know! Blessed
Mr Weaver is one of the most action-packed battery toys ever made
by those brilliant bloody Japanese in their 1960s heyday... and
this may explain why there are so bally MANY of him still scattered
around the world. Your toy, with its original war-wounded box, would
be valued at $100-150.
Farewell
until next time, troops!
Sir Chase
|
A Toy collector's treatise of TIPS to aid
your achievements... As a regular feature
we'll
supply you with the hard-nosed tips and hints supplied by some
of the galaxy's most experienced toy hunters. We hope that these
will
help in your quest for that elusive find. If you have any tips
and advice of your own, please email in >> click here to Contact Us
Beware the bowerbird! What I mean troops, is specialise! You don't
have to buy every jolly old thing you see. Apart from being hard
on the family fortune, you will soon run out of display space, and
then the worst thing of all happens... the Brown Cardboard Box Syndrome!
I am not ashamed to admit that I was diagnosed with the syndrome
in my early, wilder days... Adventure Mansion was a psychotic maze
of haphazardly stacked packing cartons near the end, and who could
tell you what was in any of them... but that's now in the past.
This is my advice: if you collect diecast, dolls or Disney, grab
hold of a theme and don't let go! After much contemplation during
my recovery at the 'Fleischmann Institute for the Mechanically Insane,'
I decided to concentrate on pre-war German clockwork limousines,
forsaking all else... well, almost all else. Troops, it doesn't
hurt on occasion if that special 'just right' out-of-theme item
waggles its hips in front of you. There is always an exception to
every rule!
Check that condition! I tell you troops, it was just magic that
time I stumbled across an old country toyshop with all its original
stock from the 1900's still on the shelves... and then I bally woke
up! Since we can only dream about a perfectly pristine mint collection
especially of older collectibles, we usually have to content ourselves
with the less than immaculate. While it's most desirable to have
perfectly mint items for some, the wait between capture of new specimens
can be jolly excruciating... if you're like me troops, you're happy
to settle for more world-weary specimens, so that your collection
has a bit more scope in the expansion department. Whatever you decide
on, remember that a collection of a few mint toys can be just as
impressive as a larger, more 'pre-loved' gathering. And if you are
only hunting for perfection, be prepared to be bally patient!
Can
wait, will wait! The tortoise always wins the race... unless that
rabbit can learn to slow down! Don't expect your entire collection
to form immediately before your eyes. If it were that easy troops,
why would any of us continue? The thrill of the hunt, the endless
research of dead end clues until we hit on that perfect scent, what
would our hobby be without this joyful chase (I'm not referring
to yours truly either.) By pacing your collection's growth, you
can appreciate it more as a whole, and indeed even each individual
piece. If all came at once, a jolly great deal of enjoyment of collecting
would be lost.
Chill out! Much as it behoves me to slip into modern dude hipster
talk for my final sage advice, there's wisdom in those two bally
words, troops. Above all, toy collecting should be jolly good fun,
so don't get too serious about your hobby. And I mean serious "Oh
no! Mr Toy-Boy has sold out of Fatman in the tuxedo outfit!" serious
"Oh no! There's a chip the size of an ant's bottom on the underside
of my pre-war dinky toy aircraft refueller!" and above all, serious
"Oh no! My investment consultant says that the tin bus I just bought
won't double in value over-night!" Just remember troops: you'll
probably get another 'Fatman' in the tuxedo outfit at the Toyz'R'Rust
just around the corner; you're bally lucky to own a pre-war refueller
in any condition; and above all, if you can't see the toys for the
dollar signs, you should jolly well sign off now. This is a fabulously
fun hobby... relax, unwind and get out there and enjoy it.
Hard Sell = Bad Smell! As
uncouth as that may sound, dear reader, it is the unbridled truth.
We've all seen this kind of ignominy before, eh what? Walking down
the diecast aisle in Toys'R'Rust, and the packaging screaming out
at you like a banshee from Satan's bally Stronghold: 'COLLECTOR'S
ITEM!' 'LIMITED EDITION!' '24KT GOLD PLATED!' These shameless Sirens
of Seduction are hard to resist... and don't the manufacturers know
it. Ever since the 'Toy Collector' (that's you and me, troops) was
discovered by the major players, the appearance of these accursed
phrases has grown like a well-fertilized weed! 'COLLECTOR'S ITEM!':
Guaranteed to collect dust, not value; '24KT GOLD PLATED!': Akin
to some Hollywood starlets I have known - bally attractive, but
no real substance; 'LIMITED EDITION!': Limited to as many as we
can sell. Be it diecast cars, plastic action figures or tinplate
wind-ups, there is one simple rule: If you like it, then buy it.
Otherwise, avoid 'Collector's Items' as a potential investment.
Don't fall for the hype, it's a load
of bally tripe!
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